A Space of His Own

We’ve known for a while that our autistic son is going to continue to live with us for the near future, and very likely the far future, too. There aren’t many other options (whether it’s a group home or a shared/assisted apartment) that we feel comfortable with for a high-needs, semi-verbal individual such as he is.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need his space. And, it definitely doesn’t mean that we don’t need ours.

So, for the last year or so, we’ve been strategizing and scheming and dreaming about how we can all live together, sanely, moving forward. Read More


How a Clothespin Might Save My Sanity

This little thing here? This cheap wooden contraption that hates the electric clothes dryer for making it obsolete? Well, it’s useful again, at least around here.


I hope I’m not jinxing our experiment to say out loud that it’s working.

See, my son “fixes” everything around us. When he’s been on a two-week break home from school, this behavior is even more apparent. We live in the house, use things, move stuff around, and he follows behind us putting everything back in place and keeping things in order the way that he likes them. Read More

Getting Out

I had two opportunities this past week to get my son out of his regular hermit-like existence and do something fun with a group. We’ve been fairly isolated for a while, but as his stress has begun to settle somewhat, I want to give him a chance to reconnect with activities that he used to really love before anxiety got the better of him.

I’m learning to find a balance between promoting these social activities and giving him a real choice whether or not to participate. I’m not going to force him to go, but I still want him to get past his automatic first “No” response and think about giving it a try. Read More


Building Skills

We’ve been focused for many years at school and home on increasing our son’s independent “life skills.” But with the end of traditional school looming ever closer, we’re even more aware of the importance of teaching him how to do things on his own, helping him find success in completing daily tasks, and in being as independent as possible. 

 In turn, I have to learn how to get out of his way.

As I’ve said before, I’m fully aware that my kid has “mom-enabled” deficits. I try not to do too much for him, but I don’t always succeed. Sometimes it’s because we are rushing to get somewhere and it’s easier for me to just DO all the things. Sometimes he is debilitated by anxiety and inability to communicate, and I’m doing what I can to lower his stress, which is clearly not the right time to add in a skill lesson. Read More