How a Clothespin Might Save My Sanity

This little thing here? This cheap wooden contraption that hates the electric clothes dryer for making it obsolete? Well, it’s useful again, at least around here.

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I hope I’m not jinxing our experiment to say out loud that it’s working.

See, my son “fixes” everything around us. When he’s been on a two-week break home from school, this behavior is even more apparent. We live in the house, use things, move stuff around, and he follows behind us putting everything back in place and keeping things in order the way that he likes them. Read More

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Hello, 2018

At first glance, it doesn’t seem like January 1, 2018 is all that different from January 1, 2017 for us. We’re still plugging along on all of the same things, still working the same issues, still in familiar places and routines, scripting the same old movies.

But, in reality, life has shifted quite a bit from this time last year.

This time last year, Read More

A Quirky Update (aka Holiday Procrastination)

I should be doing Christmas shopping or decorating or baking or any number of other things on my multiple TO DO lists.

I am one of those procrastinators at Christmastime. Well, it’s more about indecision than lazy procrastination. I just have a hard time making up my mind about what to buy, do, send, decorate, cook and bake. So, I expend a lot more time and energy thinking about everything I should be doing (and when I can possibly fit in the time to get those things done), than actually doing all of those things I should be doing. After all that exhausting mental preparation, I’m too worn out to cross anything off that list I just made!

So, in the traditional holiday spirit of putting things off, here’s an update on a few things going on around here:

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Since I wrote about our new goal to exercise, I’ve been proud of our commitment to keep up with it. We’ve been hitting the track 2 or 3 times a week. Now we are at the point where we are completing 4 laps, for a total of 1 mile. We are up to jogging for half of every lap (or almost every lap), and walking the other half. Last time we went, we jogged for 3/4 of the final lap, our longest stretch yet. We’ll keep increasing that jogging time and hopefully will be able to jog for a full lap soon. I’ve been really impressed that my son is actually doing this. As long as I give him a goal – “Jog to the garbage can,” or “Keep running all the way back to our water bottles” – he’s keeping up and completing every stretch.

santa-2933399_1280This week, that commitment has derailed because he picked up a cold over the weekend. Not great timing with the impending appearance (and rapid disappearance) of holiday treats and cookies that will really need to be counter-balanced with exercise. But, we’ll get back out there soon and keep at it into the New Year.

My effort to build my own skills of stepping back and letting my son do more on his own is still very much a work-in-progress. One of the actions I’ve taken in that direction is to add in more accountability for myself. I’m going through the process to be officially “hired” as my adult son’s habilitation provider, which our state allows once a child reaches the age of 18. It will be strange to finally be paid for some of the “work” that I always do with my kid, and I’m still not sure how I feel about that. The little bit of extra income will be nice, but I’m hoping that being required by an “outside eye” to track the data on the skills I’m teaching will motivate me to push forward on giving him the skills he needs to be more independent. Even though I’m his parent, the hiring process still involves getting a background check, taking First Aid and CPR, and a few other care provider courses. Crazy that I could do all of these things as a mom-volunteer without these qualifications, huh?

photoWe haven’t decorated for Christmas or put up our tree yet. That is the plan this week, but the kid’s been home sick for two days and we’re hoping to decorate while he’s in school to reduce his stress about making changes in the house. I tried taking out a few of the toys and Christmas CDs while he was home today and his not exactly joyful reaction reaffirmed my idea that waiting until he’s at school and ultra-prepping him is still the way to go.

But the Advent calendar is working well so far, surprisingly. With the help of a ribbon pinned to “today,” my kid is decorating the tree on his own, one ornament per day, and doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it. It’s not so much “joyful anticipation” as it is just “comfortable routine,” but that’s okay.

And, I still don’t know what to get this boy for Christmas. It’s always a bit challenging to buy presents for a kid who doesn’t like change and doesn’t ask for gifts. Mostly, it’ll be fidget toys, cookies and treats, and maybe a DVD or some music.

Oh! Maybe some new running shoes! 😉

 

Getting Out

I had two opportunities this past week to get my son out of his regular hermit-like existence and do something fun with a group. We’ve been fairly isolated for a while, but as his stress has begun to settle somewhat, I want to give him a chance to reconnect with activities that he used to really love before anxiety got the better of him.

I’m learning to find a balance between promoting these social activities and giving him a real choice whether or not to participate. I’m not going to force him to go, but I still want him to get past his automatic first “No” response and think about giving it a try. Read More